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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING UPDATE CONTAINS REFERENCES TO SAFE SEX, LEGAL CHEMICALS AND DRUGS, KICK ASS ROCK, INTERNET PORN THAT REQUIRES VIEWERS TO BE OF LEGAL AGE BEFORE VIEWING, MASTURBATION (WHICH IS NOT ILLEGAL AND EVERYONE DOES), AND NON-HETEROSEXUAL PEOPLE AND ACTIVITY (NOT UNLIKE TWO OLD WOMEN HUGGING).
Leatherbal, Leatherbal, wherefore art thou, Leatherbal CD?
But soft! What light through yonder studio breaks?
It is the East, and DIRTYgirl is the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious radio,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, Leatherbal's single, art far more fair than she.
Be not thou her maid, since she is monopolized.
Her corporate livery is but sick and green,
And none but industry fools do depend on it. Nakedness is better, so cast it off!
It is our EP, it is our lust,
O that she knew she were!
The Fetish Gospels say they will preach, yet we hear nothing. What of that?
Our fans discourse; we will answer it.
They are so bold; it is to us they speak.
Five hundred of the fairest friends in all of MySpace
Having some business, do entreat their ears
To wrinkle in our sphere of time until the record is released.
What if their ears were here, and we in their head?
The brightness of our stage lights would shame the pink hair on Jeffree Star
As a B-movie doth a vamp; our songs in hell
Would through the fiery region sing so bright
That goth children would listen and dance and think it were not night.
See how our fans lean their cheek upon a record store window!
O that we were a minimum-wage-paid employee wiping that window,
That we might lick that cheek!
What You've Been Waiting To Hear.
The much anticipated debut EP, The Fetish Gospels has been mastered by Ty Welborn of Audio Solutions and will be available here on Leatherbal.com and through selected independent record stores throughout Texas, and other outlets to be announced, in LATE AUGUST/EARLY SEPTEMBER. You will be able to buy this limited edition first-run that includes kick ass graphic artwork produced by Darren Paul of Iceplanet.com, the same folks that created the website you're checking out right now. The EP will be ear nicotine, as well as eye caffeine.
Stay tuned for the OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE. An offical CD release party for our ADULT fans is in the planning stages. More to come soon.
OutSmart Magazine. September.
Leatherbal is a FEATURED BAND in the September issue's feature on music. A thank you to Eric Dieckman for the interview, and John for the photography. Go to your nearest Ricky Martin-friendly newsstand in Houston and pick up your free copy. Cut out the pictures and place them next to your Madonna shrine. But not too close. I might give her an orgasm. A thank you to Concrete Rose Cabaret for joining us for part of our photoshoot. These ladies are delicious.
We have a lot of news for you this month. So let me take a cigarette break first. You might need one after the following annoucement.
Rock. Porn. Subculture. Soundtrack.
Razordolls.com has befriended us through their love of lewd, rude, and tattooed girls. Who the fuck doesn't like rock, porn and subculture? We can't answer that question either, so Razordolls.com decided to put us on the soundtrack to their upcoming DVD. Be sure to grab your copy when it's released. We are more than happy to be the soundtrack of your sex (or masturbatory) life. That is, after all, our entire reason for existing.
Show Me Your Tits. I mean, Sticker.
During the Houston Gay Pride parade, I met several of our delicious fans who bought Leatherbal t-shirts. Or maybe they were just drunk people who needed a change of clothing after spilling beer on themselves or being vomited on by their friends. In either case, thanks for your money. Fans also took our stickers and placed them on themselves for our Show Me Your Sticker section, which has been updated to reflect the mayhem and skin we've been exposed to lately. So keep showing us your sticker so we can post your picture right here on Leatherbal.com and show off our DIRTYfans.
For those of you still in need of Leatherbal logowear and stickers, our friends at I-Spy Graphics are currently busy little elves in their workshop of evil designs and wicked clothing. New merchandise will be available soon for purchase. So save up the dollars you were thrown on stage last night at your second job and come back here for your piece of musical propaganda.
We are currently in the studio, already brewing up spicy new mixes of songs featured on The Fetish Gospels, as well as working on new material that will make you fall in l.u.s.t. I hear our actress friend Roxy Vandiver has been touching the inside of our vocal booth. I may have to come in soon to lick the walls.
This summer has been so hot, I forgot 6.6.6. is already behind us. The increased mosquito population and supposed day of the Beast was no match for the fire and buzz coming from the Leatherbal camp.
Almost time for bed. I'm beginning to wonder if I remembered to rewind my Jenna Jameson video...
Goodnite, my friends. |
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